Tag Archives: pregnancy

“Do You Ever Feel Tired?”

I had just scolded Little Guy for the seventh time in the last five minutes, this time for licking the almond milk on the shelf at Trader Joes, when I felt someone at my elbow. I turned around and this little old lady put her hand on my shoulder and said, “God’s blessings be upon you, dear!”

I buried my face in her shoulder and wept. Okay, actually I just bit back tears and gave her a hug. I thanked her for her kind words, they meant so much to me. She looked at my pregnant belly, then looked at my boys rolling around on the dirty tile floor like puppies and asked,

“Do you ever feel tired?”

At this, I burst into laughter. Like, insane woman, crazy eyed, hysterical, howling laughter. It was either that or cry. Do I ever feel tired? The night before, I got up no less than 4 times to pee, and each time I came back to bed my dog had migrated from the foot of the bed into the warm space I vacated. She growls at me when I try to move her and turns into dead weight so that by the time I have reclaimed my sleeping space I’m wide awake and so is the karate kid that resides in my uterus. I don’t sleep much.

Do I ever feel tired? That morning when my boys were praying before we started our school lesson (yes, June is almost over and we’re still doing school. Shhhh, don’t tell them, they don’t realize we should have stopped!) I almost fell asleep in the 30 seconds I had my eyes shut.

Do I ever feel tired? I live on the third floor of an old building and the hardest part of my day is climbing the stairs up to our apartment. Halfway up I have to stop and assess whether the contractions I’m besieged with are the real thing or not, because if it’s go-time there’s no way in heck I’m doing that last flight to just turn around and head back down to the hospital.

Do I ever feel tired? Through my laughter I replied, “Every #*@%  day!”

Okay not really. This was a sweet old granny. “Pretty often,” is what I actually said.

I don’t remember much of the exchange after that, but when I left the store I felt so much better than when I came in. God keeps sending the right people at the right time into my life to encourage me. Throughout the last couple months (this pregnancy has been challenging, it’s been rough) I have lost track of the number of people who have stopped me at the park, grocery store, parking lot, library, everywhere to compliment my children, or tell me how amazing I look, or just say, “You are doing a great work!”

I’m trying to become that kind of person. If I’m thinking something encouraging, I pray that God would give me the boldness to say it. To the mom struggling with the screaming two year old at Target, “You are doing a great job!”

To the pregnant mom at the park struggling to keep up with her energetic kids, “You look amazing!”

Encouraging words leave a positive mark that can help erase all the negative self talk we’re capable of. Let’s make use of them.

Do you enjoy being complimented by strangers? Does it creep you out? Tell me about it.

Pregnancy IRL

I have friends who love being pregnant. They thrive on being pregnant. They would be pregnant all the time if they could. This, on the other hand, is me pregnant. wp-1455407450067.jpeg

This was taken about 3 weeks ago and I am wearing a band around my belly to literally hold my stomach together. I got a major umbilical hernia the last time I was pregnant, and parts of my abdomen are threatening to come through my belly button. Sounds like a blast, right? It’s not as severe as it sounds, it just hurts a lot, and apparently it’s not a big deal (!?) because I have yet to have a doctor/midwife seem overly concerned.

So yeah, this kid better love me the most.

I’m not mocking my friends who love pregnancy. I’m more than a little jealous, to be honest. And if I could take the good parts of pregnancy and have those always I would. Like my shiny hair, gorgeous fingernails, and umm… c’mon, there’s gotta be a third one…

The truth is, I don’t love being pregnant. It’s hard for me to write that. I prayed and longed for this baby for so long and I’m absolutely thrilled to be pregnant with this little parasite. And the first time I felt this baby move I was so in love I cried. So I feel weird saying that this is hard, and uncomfortable, and icky, and weird… But I think that’s why I need to say it.

There’s this thing about being a woman, or being a mom, where you’re supposed to pretend that everything is fine. If a mom makes a complaint about her children, she’s attacked. You chose to have these kids, why would you have them if you hate it so much? As if there’s only two options, love it all the time or hate it. So we smile, and say this is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I live for my kids.

But Emily, you may be thinking, that’s true though. I do feel that way about my kids! That’s great. I believe you. I’m happy for you. I just don’t believe you feel that way 100% of the time. No one does. And I want us to have the freedom to admit it. Let’s not take to Facebook and complain about our kids, or how horrible our day is, but let’s give ourselves permission to text a friend and tell her we’re struggling. She gets it. Give yourself permission to put your kids in front of Netflix so you can get 20 minutes to recharge. Give yourself permission to lock the bathroom door and eat chocolate. You’re human.

I go through this time knowing the end result will make this all pale in comparison. It’s true for you too. Whatever the struggle is right now, it’s worth it. One day your child will use the potty on their own. Your little booger eventually will sleep all night. It will be worth it.

Until then. Give yourself grace. You don’t have to enjoy every moment. You can feel impatience, frustration, even anger, at your children. They probably deserve it! So take a cleansing breath, send those ornery monsters to their room, and remind yourself that you’re human. God is forgiving. Your children are forgiving. And this won’t last forever.

Do you love being pregnant? Tell me why. I want to vicariously enjoy it 🙂