Category Archives: Television

The One Where Emily Turns 30

Like any lady who grew up in the 90s, I’ve been watching Friends on Netflix since it came out at the beginning of this year. Since re-watching it, I’ve realized how much all my friends and I tried to live out that show in our speech, actions, and hair (you know you all wanted Rachel’s haircut!).

Recently I watched the episode where Rachel turns 30 and the group reminisces about their own thirtieth birthdays. All their birthdays were terrible, with Joey crying at many of them, a midlife crisis at Ross’s, Phoebe finding out she was really 31, and Monica getting smashed out drunk.

I was at an impressionable age when this episode first came out,just shy of my 16th birthday. So of course I was convinced that turning 30 was going to be the end of my life.

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I turn 30 on Valentine’s Day, ya’ll.

And I’m excited about it. I’ve been looking forward to 30 for awhile. I’m going to rock 30.

If you knew me when I was 20 and you are still my friend, can I just say thank you? I’m pretty sure I thought I knew everything when I was 20. No one could tell me anything; I was proud. Then the next year I got married and three short years later found myself pregnant and found out that I had no idea what I was doing, in life, parenting, marriage.

My twenties have been a long decade of learning, being humbled, being made holy, being broken. It’s been exhausting but I’m thankful for God’s continual goodness in the face of my own weakness.

I’m going to start out my thirties by admitting that I know less about life than I did when I was 20, but I feel more comfortable with who I am as a person. I like myself. I didn’t like myself for a long while and used all kinds of distractions to keep from being alone with my thoughts. I’m okay now.

Furthermore, I’m a good mom. And you know what? It feels good to say that. You should say it too (you know, if you’re a mom, that is. If you’re not a mom, that’s a little weird). Try it. I’m a good _______ (mom, uncle, sister, photographer, dog owner).

I’m going to be healthy in my thirties. This is my year of Healing. I’m going to allow God to continue healing my spirit from ongoing depression and anxiety. I’m going to eat healthy to be a good steward of the body God has given me. I’m going to fill my mind with good things as well, and speak out against evil when necessary.

Here’s to my next decade! I’m going to finally be a real adult. I’m going to love well, and live hard.

Rachel, Ross, Joey, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, you’ve got it wrong. 30 is the new 20. I’m gonna rock it.

rachel crying

 

50 Shades of What Are We Doing?

My last post made for a very interesting week for me. I wrote about why I won’t be watching 50 Shades of Grey, and appealed to all women to reconsider watching it this weekend. Since I published it, I’ve had conversations all week long both online and off with women who have either defended the position I took or defended the movie. 50ShadesofGreyCoverArt.jpg

Women, I’m saddened. When I wrote the post on Monday, I confess I was a bit angry. I was angry with the thought that our girls, our young girls, are going to grow up thinking this kind of “love” is normal. That we’re just sitting by while society tells us BDSM and abusive relationships are normal and even sexy. I was disgusted.

But now, I’m just deeply saddened.

I’m saddened that our marriages and relationships are broken.

I’m saddened that we think erotic films will fix them.

I’m saddened that pornography is so prevalent that those who don’t view it regularly are in the minority.

I’m saddened that I have already had to talk to my 5 year old about porn. Because it’s everywhere.

I’m saddened that we look at Christian Grey as an example of a real man.

I’m saddened that 1 in 4 women will be a victim of domestic violence.

I’m saddened that our feminism has brought us here. We’ve almost come full circle. We told our men they couldn’t dominate us, we are equal. And now we’re telling them it’s okay to dominate us, it’s a turn on. A group called Fight the New Drug did a study which concluded that up to 88% of the most popular porn contains violence against women. That should disturb us. This is what our kids will view by the time they’re 8.

This breaks my heart.

Ladies, let’s take sex back.

Let’s stop romanticizing violence and abuse.

Let’s stop giving money to the machine that perpetuates this garbage.

Stop reading these books. Stop watching these movies. Let’s teach our kids what real love looks like. It’s messy and hard and not always beautiful. But it’s selfless. And it gives life.

Here are a couple articles that I found interesting this week. The co-stars of 50 Shades of Grey were even disgusted by the movie they made. Read about it here.

And this great article  by Jonathan Van Maren which starts out, “It’s pretty depressing when you realize that, in 2014, many people seem to think that destruction of human dignity is a small price to pay for an orgasm.” That’s a great opening line.

And finally, Lisa Wilkinson, co-host of Channel 9’s Today Show gives her review of the movie.

I won’t be seeing the movie this weekend. I will be loving on my husband. Happy Valentine’s Day.

Why I Won’t See 50 Shades of Grey

Ladies, let’s talk. Valentine’s Day is coming and with it, the movie so many of us have been waiting for: 50 Shades of Grey. I won’t be going to see it, nor did I read the book, and I’m going to appeal to you not to see it either. I’m going to appeal to you on two counts, first as a woman, and second as a follower of Jesus for those of you who have made that choice.

Women
First of all, let’s just call this what it is, all right? It’s pornography. Look up any definition of “pornography” and 50 Shades will fit into it. It’s even been labeled as “mommy porn,” which I find offensive and disgusting. As if “mommys” are in a category all our own desperate for an outlet such as this.

50 Shades is not friendly to women. It’s just not. Porn is never women-friendly. Porn objectifies women, even when it’s written by and “for” women. Porn is never healthy. Porn destroys relationships and skews our views on sex. The porn industry is horrible to women and the idea that we, as women, would support that is disgusting. I don’t want my husband watching or reading porn, and I’m sure he doesn’t want me doing it either, so let’s stop pretending it’s not porn. Call it what it is.

I’ve read enough reviews and several excerpts of the book to know that Christian Grey is not a healthy individual and his “relationship” with Anastasia is not a healthy one. It’s abuse! I would even go as far as to say that this kind of thing is highly offensive to those who have been in abusive sexual relationships. Abuse is not normal. Not in any circumstances. Women, stop buying this garbage! We deserve better. We are worth it. Our daughters are worth it. Let’s turn away from this crap before our young women grow up thinking it’s normal to be taken advantage of as long as the man is smokin’ hot and has a sweet soul underneath.

I don’t have a daughter but I do have two boys. I want them to grow up to be nothing like Christian Grey. They will be gentlemen. They will be kind. They will be respectful of women, treating them as equals. Let’s demand more of our children and for our children.

Followers of Jesus
This following section is for those of you who claim to be followers of Jesus, who have taken in his free gift of abundant and eternal life through his death and resurrection. In doing so, we have a higher standard, a higher calling.

I’ve been surprised again and again over the last year or so by the number of Christian women who have matter-of-factly talked about this book and movie without any shame. Ladies, porn is never okay in the life of a Christian. Porn is sin. The Bible is so clear on marriage and sex and we have no question that sex does not belong anywhere except in marriage. We are told to flee from this sort of thing, and here we are reading it and discussing it with giggles. Shame on us!

We must not go along with the culture and normalize this kind of thing. As followers of Jesus we must not read about or watch sex for entertainment. As followers of Jesus we mustn’t condone abusive sexual relationships, even if “consent” is involved. Throughout the history of our faith the Church body has been different from the surrounding culture in terms of sexual immorality. We are to be holy, “set apart.” This kind of “entertainment” has never been okay and we need to be disgusted by it.

I realize we all have different standards as to what is allowable in our own lives. For example, my husband and I grew up around people would pass out at the idea of Christians drinking alcohol. Yet, I really enjoy a beer now and then. This difference is okay; I don’t force alcohol on those who don’t drink, or even drink in front of them, and they don’t force their abstinence on me.

However, the standards of sex are not like that. The Bible calls us to a higher standard concerning sex. This doesn’t come from me, so don’t argue your point with me if you disagree, it comes from Jesus. I can find no interpretation of the Word of God that allows for sex outside of marriage or condones this kind of unnatural behavior that we read in 50 Shades.

I won’t be going to see this movie, and I beg you not to either, as women, or as followers of Jesus. Let’s set a higher standard. Let’s demand better for ourselves, and from our men.

Curious Friday

Woohoo! Friday’s here! This was kind of a rough week around here. First of all, I was rebounding from baring my soul at a weekend ladies retreat, which meant I couldn’t stop eating sugar all week (and I was doing so well before last weekend). I usually don’t self-medicate with sugar (I much prefer self-medicating with Chipotle chips and guac), but we were also stuck in the apartment all week because of the weather. It’s cold. Or at least it was. It’s starting to warm up again and I’m so happy about that. I love the snow, but I wasn’t thrilled about the single digit I kept seeing on the forecast.

I’m also excited that it’s Friday because Tim and I are getting a date night! Yeah! Our way cool church is opening their children’s department up so we can drop off the kiddos and come get them next week after a couple hours. I’m so excited to go out to eat without cleaning up spills, wiping faces, and cutting up food. Although it’s possible I might do a couple of those for Tim out of habit…

Anywho, here’s a fun quote from Curious George that made me chuckle this past week.

From the episode Gnocchi the Critic
(Gnocchi’s a cat, if you didn’t know)

“This is what comes from letting a cat make cooking decisions.”
-Netti, Chef Pisghetti’s wife

What are you up to these next few days? Enjoy your weekend, everyone! And don’t visit any Italian restaurants that let cats make cooking decisions.

Friday Fun Quote

It’s Friday! I don’t know about you, but it has been a loooong week around here. My kids aren’t really digging the whole time change thing, so we’ve been waking up an hour earlier than the clock says to and going about our day in the old time. Which means that somehow I have 25 hours to my day. I can’t figure that out, but it’s exhausting.

I thought it would be fun to put up a movie or TV quote on Fridays to start out the weekend. And here’s the thing, since I’ve been a parent I’ve discovered that children’s shows are hilarious. If you watch long enough with your littles you will be rewarded with a line thrown in there that will make you laugh. And I’m not talking about gross humor, like you see in a certain square-pantsed sponge, but just plain funny stuff.

So here’s my quote for today, from the Curious George movie (2006):

Cab Driver: Where you headed, Yellow?

The Man with the Yellow Hat: Bloomsberry Museum, and I’ll give you an extra ten if you don’t call me “yellow”, Okay?

Cab Driver: Sure thing, Sunshine.

 

Okay okay, just one more:

The Man with the Yellow Hat: And you! Hiring a monkey to paint your apartment. How can you sleep nights?

 

Have a great weekend, friends!

Haa-aave You Met Me?

Over the last 2 years I have been watching How I Met Your Mother on Netflix. It’s one of those shows where I’ve heard criticism regarding its unrealistic circumstances.  Well, yes, it is unrealistic. That’s why it’s a television show. Lily somehow puts Marshall through law school on her preschool teaching salary while they live in a beautiful spacious NYC apartment (I don’t think those even exist outside of sitcoms). Also, they drink constantly and never seem to work. But c’mon, people. I don’t want to watch the realistic version of that: Where a young couple struggles to feed their children on one salary while living in a tiny apartment with thin walls. I live that show, why would I want to watch it?

Whether you like HIMYM, hate it, have never seen it, think it’s wildly inappropriate, this will all come together in a minute. Hang in here.

The thing about watching a show on Netflix is that when you can watch as many episodes as you want in a row, things start to get a little repetitive. Like when I was a teen I went through a phase where I would watch a couple episodes of Full House after school every day on TBS. By about day 5 of that I could guess exactly what was coming next. DJ comes to a whole new realization about boys/friends/Kimmy, Stephanie is a smart-aleck but means the best, and Michelle says something adorable. (Also Uncle Joey becomes more and more creepy.)

Aaaanyway…How I Met Your Mother. I found myself getting frustrated recently because the characters keep having to learn the same lesson over and over. I want to scream at Ted, I mean, my computer screen, “Stop making destructive decisions! She will never love you!” Yet, there goes Ted again, I mean, really any character, making the same stupid mistakes and learning 17 minutes later that things will not work out well for them.

Not. Gonna. Happen.

Then, after watching the show, I go back to my life. One of my boys spills their cup on the floor. I want to scream, “Seriously? You spilled your cup yesterday! And the day before!” and then I realize, and the day before that…and the day before that…and you will probably spill it tomorrow…and the next day. That’s when it hits me. I continue to make the same mistakes over and over and over. My children give me repeated opportunities to show them grace, and I continually miss them. Why am I still surprised when they spill, or fight with each other, or pee on the floor right next to the toilet instead of inside the toilet?

I’m so glad no one is watching my life on TV. Trust me, you don’t want in on this crazy train. But the only One who sees every moment is also the One who will constantly and repeatedly give me grace when I fail. And I’m thankful for that, because Ted Mosby is not the only one who fails to learn a lesson the 2nd, 3rd, or 15th time.

So instead of screaming, I grab some paper towel and get down on my knees to wipe up the spilt milk. “It’s okay,” I tell my son, “spills happen. Do you want to help me clean it up?” And with a smile that starts in his soul and shines through his eyes, he sloppily helps me make things better.

Of course, this all happens while his brother makes an adorable comment and Uncle Joey does his ventriloquism act.

Nope. Not creepy at all.