The One Where Emily Turns 30

Like any lady who grew up in the 90s, I’ve been watching Friends on Netflix since it came out at the beginning of this year. Since re-watching it, I’ve realized how much all my friends and I tried to live out that show in our speech, actions, and hair (you know you all wanted Rachel’s haircut!).

Recently I watched the episode where Rachel turns 30 and the group reminisces about their own thirtieth birthdays. All their birthdays were terrible, with Joey crying at many of them, a midlife crisis at Ross’s, Phoebe finding out she was really 31, and Monica getting smashed out drunk.

I was at an impressionable age when this episode first came out,just shy of my 16th birthday. So of course I was convinced that turning 30 was going to be the end of my life.

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I turn 30 on Valentine’s Day, ya’ll.

And I’m excited about it. I’ve been looking forward to 30 for awhile. I’m going to rock 30.

If you knew me when I was 20 and you are still my friend, can I just say thank you? I’m pretty sure I thought I knew everything when I was 20. No one could tell me anything; I was proud. Then the next year I got married and three short years later found myself pregnant and found out that I had no idea what I was doing, in life, parenting, marriage.

My twenties have been a long decade of learning, being humbled, being made holy, being broken. It’s been exhausting but I’m thankful for God’s continual goodness in the face of my own weakness.

I’m going to start out my thirties by admitting that I know less about life than I did when I was 20, but I feel more comfortable with who I am as a person. I like myself. I didn’t like myself for a long while and used all kinds of distractions to keep from being alone with my thoughts. I’m okay now.

Furthermore, I’m a good mom. And you know what? It feels good to say that. You should say it too (you know, if you’re a mom, that is. If you’re not a mom, that’s a little weird). Try it. I’m a good _______ (mom, uncle, sister, photographer, dog owner).

I’m going to be healthy in my thirties. This is my year of Healing. I’m going to allow God to continue healing my spirit from ongoing depression and anxiety. I’m going to eat healthy to be a good steward of the body God has given me. I’m going to fill my mind with good things as well, and speak out against evil when necessary.

Here’s to my next decade! I’m going to finally be a real adult. I’m going to love well, and live hard.

Rachel, Ross, Joey, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, you’ve got it wrong. 30 is the new 20. I’m gonna rock it.

rachel crying

 

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