Ladies, let’s talk. Valentine’s Day is coming and with it, the movie so many of us have been waiting for: 50 Shades of Grey. I won’t be going to see it, nor did I read the book, and I’m going to appeal to you not to see it either. I’m going to appeal to you on two counts, first as a woman, and second as a follower of Jesus for those of you who have made that choice.
First of all, let’s just call this what it is, all right? It’s pornography. Look up any definition of “pornography” and 50 Shades will fit into it. It’s even been labeled as “mommy porn,” which I find offensive and disgusting. As if “mommys” are in a category all our own desperate for an outlet such as this.
50 Shades is not friendly to women. It’s just not. Porn is never women-friendly. Porn objectifies women, even when it’s written by and “for” women. Porn is never healthy. Porn destroys relationships and skews our views on sex. The porn industry is horrible to women and the idea that we, as women, would support that is disgusting. I don’t want my husband watching or reading porn, and I’m sure he doesn’t want me doing it either, so let’s stop pretending it’s not porn. Call it what it is.
I’ve read enough reviews and several excerpts of the book to know that Christian Grey is not a healthy individual and his “relationship” with Anastasia is not a healthy one. It’s abuse! I would even go as far as to say that this kind of thing is highly offensive to those who have been in abusive sexual relationships. Abuse is not normal. Not in any circumstances. Women, stop buying this garbage! We deserve better. We are worth it. Our daughters are worth it. Let’s turn away from this crap before our young women grow up thinking it’s normal to be taken advantage of as long as the man is smokin’ hot and has a sweet soul underneath.
I don’t have a daughter but I do have two boys. I want them to grow up to be nothing like Christian Grey. They will be gentlemen. They will be kind. They will be respectful of women, treating them as equals. Let’s demand more of our children and for our children.
Followers of Jesus
This following section is for those of you who claim to be followers of Jesus, who have taken in his free gift of abundant and eternal life through his death and resurrection. In doing so, we have a higher standard, a higher calling.
I’ve been surprised again and again over the last year or so by the number of Christian women who have matter-of-factly talked about this book and movie without any shame. Ladies, porn is never okay in the life of a Christian. Porn is sin. The Bible is so clear on marriage and sex and we have no question that sex does not belong anywhere except in marriage. We are told to flee from this sort of thing, and here we are reading it and discussing it with giggles. Shame on us!
We must not go along with the culture and normalize this kind of thing. As followers of Jesus we must not read about or watch sex for entertainment. As followers of Jesus we mustn’t condone abusive sexual relationships, even if “consent” is involved. Throughout the history of our faith the Church body has been different from the surrounding culture in terms of sexual immorality. We are to be holy, “set apart.” This kind of “entertainment” has never been okay and we need to be disgusted by it.
I realize we all have different standards as to what is allowable in our own lives. For example, my husband and I grew up around people would pass out at the idea of Christians drinking alcohol. Yet, I really enjoy a beer now and then. This difference is okay; I don’t force alcohol on those who don’t drink, or even drink in front of them, and they don’t force their abstinence on me.
However, the standards of sex are not like that. The Bible calls us to a higher standard concerning sex. This doesn’t come from me, so don’t argue your point with me if you disagree, it comes from Jesus. I can find no interpretation of the Word of God that allows for sex outside of marriage or condones this kind of unnatural behavior that we read in 50 Shades.
I won’t be going to see this movie, and I beg you not to either, as women, or as followers of Jesus. Let’s set a higher standard. Let’s demand better for ourselves, and from our men.