One thing about becoming a mother is that you lose some dignity in the process, and I wonder if all of you mothers out there can attest to this. Even to get the child out of your body requires a loss of privacy in a huge way. I always say, “I’ve given birth; I’ve nothing left to hide.” And after the babe is out you must give up other things like showers, clean clothes, and the right to your breasts. My kids are 4 and 2 and I still am covered in hand-shaped stains most days.
Something that surprised me though, about being a parent is that other people seem to think it’s okay to ask you or tell you anything. I’m not easily offended by the questions or not-sought-after, spontaneous advice that I receive on a regular basis; I’m just surprised by it.
It started when I was pregnant with my Big Brother. People I barely knew wanted to know whether he was a boy, girl, or velociraptor. Not really a big deal, I loved being pregnant and was eager to talk about my growing belly, er, boy.
But there were also other questions, “Was he planned?” Granted, I was still a full-time student so getting pregnant was definitely NOT in our plans, but honestly, why was it their business? At first, I was usually so taken aback that I answered, “Um, no not exactly.” (Soon, I wisened up and answered back, “No, were you?”) A few brave souls even took it to the next level and wanted to know what happened. How did we accidentally become pregnant? At this point I brought out a pad and paper to draw an anatomical diagram because seriously, if you’re an adult and you don’t know how babies are made? You’re welcome.
Right now I get a lot of questions centered on when our next child is coming. Now hear me, if you’re my friend and you know me on a close level, please ask! That’s what friends do. I won’t be offended, I promise, because we’re friends. But if you barely know me, watch out. You might find yourself on the receiving end of a sex talk. With pictures.