It happened so quickly. The boys were playing in the bath, giggling. I was enjoying a moment to sit down. 10 minutes later Big Brother was in timeout and Little Guy was sitting on my lap screaming. What just happened?
Big Brother was being disciplined for making a lake on the bathroom floor, and Little Guy had sliced his thumb after he managed to find my shaver. As I rocked and tried to soothe him, listening to the cries of Big Brother in the other room, I tried to pray for patience.
This was not how I wanted the day to start. How do I recover from this? I wanted to crawl back in bed and start over.
Yesterday I had a similar day. By lunchtime I was convinced that I was a horrible mother and that my children were ruined. Everyone was tired and cranky. “Please don’t yell at us,” Big Brother pleaded.
“Then stop fighting with your brother!!” I wanted to yell back. (I didn’t. I bit my tongue instead.)
If I truly believe in the Gospel, the Good News of Jesus, how do I fit God’s mercy into my bad mornings and bad days?
I was reminded of an evening not so long ago when I was tucking Big Brother into bed. As I always do, I asked him what a good part of the day was. Then I asked what a not-so-good part was. He said that I hadn’t talked nice to him earlier in the day and that had hurt his feelings. I felt terrible of course and told him I was sorry.
When I apologize to my boys for not speaking with love to them I always tell them how much I need Jesus, and I pray with them that He will help me be a better, nicer mom tomorrow. That’s how I want them to see me: as a woman desperately in need of her Savior.
I asked Big Brother if he would forgive me for my unkind words. He said, “Mo-om, I already did forgave you!”
Isn’t grace wonderful? I thought I was pointing him to Jesus, yet he was doing the same for me. When I locked myself in the bathroom yesterday and cried out to God begging him to help me and forgive me because I was being such a monster to my kids in reaction to their own sin…that was his quiet answer.
I already forgave you.
Now, go on in My grace and love your children because I. Love. You.
God always allows a do-over. Take it! And if you need another one, take another! His grace is enough.
His grace is enough.